English/LAL Calendar

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

BENCHMARK - PERSUASIVE ESSAY - SCHOOL SPORTS *extra credit!

If you would like to receive some EXTRA CREDIT for your awesome persuasive essays (recently completed for the benchmark assessment), then please post your Gdoc link to the work in the comment box. If you do not know what I am talking about, then it's probably best to come see me with questions. And remember, extra credit is only icing on the cake... the cake is what fills you up. Nice metaphor, huh?! Yeeeaaah... I knew you'd like that!

5 comments:

  1. colinFebruary 1, 2012 at 5:32 PM

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bU3qR43thhk9kYG7QLntR10gBhDn8ZIUWnxY5ALaHZo/edit

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. George Washington CarverFebruary 6, 2012 at 9:14 AM

      For your openning paragraph, you can spell check some of your spelling. And a good thing i liked was that you came out with good questionsdand a resonable hook.

      For paragraph two, you need to indent and some better vocabulary would make your paragraph stronger and your reson stronger as well.It also needs to have more sentences to a paragraph. 5 would be plenty.

      For paragraph three, you need more puncuation and sentencde structure. I liked the topic you were using for this paragraph.

      For paragraph four, i like your ideas for this paragraph. This made your opinion much more clear and made your essay stronger. Work on your sentence structure.

      For paragraph five, your sentences were vague. I like your ending but by harm wat do you mean???

      Delete
    2. Richard HarringtonFebruary 6, 2012 at 9:14 AM

      Paragraph 1- I think your introduction to your essay was really good but you messed up on some words. But i think that your topic was amazing.

      Paragraph 2- I think that when you were talking about that the new laws will make people stop using the internet. Also I like how you were talking about when people do not know where to go when they do not have maps.
      But I do not like how the shipping companys will not deliver there packages.
      Paragraph 3- I ran out of time I would like to comment more but the bell is going to ring.

      Delete
  2. Rugie B.February 2, 2012 at 5:43 AM

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1v8Pf_DqUq6CXu26W3JSpKciGge4CFmGz8lRkc8iMbRg/edit

    ReplyDelete
  3. NidiraFebruary 6, 2012 at 5:47 AM

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vsPz8C8gNb7Bg53xWC8IN_bfZVoA6rxI9xwdHVq9uog/edit

    ReplyDelete

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