• I tried to catch some fog. I
mist.
• When chemists die, they
barium.
• German sausage jokes are the
Wurst.
• A soldier who survived
mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop
any time.
• I stayed up all night to see
where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized
me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
• I’m reading a book about
anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
• I did a theatrical
performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• They told me I had type A
blood, but it was a type-O.
• This dyslexic man walks into
a bra ….
• I didn’t like my beard at
first. Then it grew on me.
• A cross-eyed teacher lost her
job because she couldn’t control her pupils.
• When you get a bladder
infection, urine trouble.
• What does a clock do when
it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur
with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus .
• England has no kidney bank,
but it does have a Liverpool .
• I used to be a banker, but
then I lost interest.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx .
• All the toilets in Boston
police stations have been stolen; police say they have nothing to go on.
• I took the job at a bakery
because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro - what a rip off!
• Cartoonist found dead in
home. Details are sketchy.
